Hippy Dippy Stuff!
Being brutally honest, my main reason for journalling, writing and posting an article like this, is because most of my family and friends just don’t want to listen to me after coming back from a voyage where medicine plants are concerned. They just don’t get it, and most of the time they don’t want to. It probably seems much too complicated for them anyhow!
Some “friends” say to me: “Not that Hippy, dippy, stuff again!” … Which to a certain extent, they are kind of correct in assuming, after all, it is quite Hippy and Dippy, and one does get to deal with quite a bit of Stuff when imbibing medicine plants, in a metaphorical and even a literal sense.
Rather than fall out with “my friends” or “my family”, or continually bang my head against the thick concrete walls they put up, it is best to just journal or write this stuff down and share it with those who may care to read it, and perhaps wish to further engage it at their own leisure.
Personally speaking; at this stage in my current life, going to a Sacred Voyage retreat or event beats all holidays or travels ever, and that is a pretty big achievement in and of itself.
Voyaging or journeying with Sacred Medicine Plants began for me, with a retreat to the Netherlands in September 2017, with a group called The Sacred Voyage, which culminated in a book about these same adventures called Mèahuasca.
Nearing an age of half a century, was a key factor in my decision to scratch an itch that had agitated me for a long time. That itch was to experience “A little Death” albeit at the hands of Mother Ayahuasca. Just to see, feel or experience what it might be like to die, or get a relatively clear outline or idea of what could be awaiting or lurking over my final hill … the details of these particulars earlier adventures can be read in Mèahuasca.
My most recent adventure (in July of 2020), was yet another experience and was once again wholly different from all previous voyages. This year of course is 2020 … the year of “the great Toilet Roll Emergency”, or the year of “the great social compliance experiment”, as it is termed in some circles. This event was originally planned to happen in April, but because of the Great Toilet Roll Emergency, it was delayed until July 2020, which provided a little more time to get a book completed and eventually printed.
Anyhoo … myself and a few friends ventured to the Netherlands this July, to participate in what was to be their first venture into imbibing what is colloquially called Voyahuasca … Voyahuasca is a Psilocybin based entheogen. It is an MAO Inhibitor taken with Psilocybin truffles or mushrooms. This concoction can bring one into Alternative States of reality, beyond anything you could image in any state of consciousness. In fact it actively switches off the conscious or egoic mind, and acts as a touchstone to facilitate time travel and the traversing of the cosmos, should it be a thing you might be needing.
Ok … this all sounds a bit fanciful, and not everyone gets to travel through time or traverse the cosmos immediately. Some People need to get over themselves a little, or get out of their own way first, by clearing or unblocking their energy fields … clean their pipework out so to speak, in the same way, you might give your car a full service and clean before embarking on a long journey.
One begins preparations for such a journey or voyage about six weeks before the event, by abstaining from sex (if you can), and then latterly by fasting from solid foods, meats, processed foods, sugar, salt, coffee, dairy, alcohol, tobacco, recreational and prescription drugs, and a whole host of other nice stuff and potential body toxins. This part is called the Dieta … and although there are probably many health benefits to this process, it can be hard work. This is not to say you starve yourself, as you are allowed to eat vegetable soup, drink water, fruit and veg juices, and even have the odd plain rice cracker. The idea here is obviously to remove as many toxins from the body as possible, and put the body into a kind of state of grace.
The Dieta is not much fun of course, yet after a few days, the hunger pangs seem to dissipate, and your energy levels seem to go up for some strange reason, well that is my experience.
THE REAL QUESTION: Why put yourself through all this?
Why go through all the preparation, the diet and the work, to take a Medicine that tastes terrible, can make you vomit, give you diarrhoea and can potentially test your bravery whilst confronting personal fears? This is far from an enjoyable, leisurely and hedonistic weekend break-away as one could imagine. It is more like a pilgrimage, or a hike through the traumas of your own life, and sure who would’t want such a thing?
Over a 72 hour period or thereabouts, you get the pleasure of examining maybe 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 or 60 years of your own life in great detail. Nothing can fully prepare you for this experience. You are exposing your life to your own critical judgment, but who better to make such judgments about your life than you?
What you can achieve in growth and or healing in this 72 hours, could not be achieved if you spent 20 years in full time counselling. You get to see and examine you from a subjective and concurrently from an objective perspective. This may read like an exaggeration, whereas it is in fact an understatement.
My very first “Sacred Voyage” in 2017 with Medicine Plants or Entheogens provided me with some personal insights into me, and to that end, rather than rewrite what happened, here is an extract from the book Mèahuasca:
PREPARATION DAY: The day before my (very first) Ayahuasca Voyage was spent with a group of other voyagers, in preparation for our first voyage the next day. The facilitator and guides actively prepared us as much as they possibly could, to surrender to the medicine, and put us at ease with any worries or concerns we may be having. The key phrase here being SURRENDER. The morning of the first preparation day, we gathered together with M the lead facilitator. M invited us each in our own time to say something about ourselves by leading with the phrase “If you really knew ME then …” This phrase resonated with ME at the time, and still does, and it forms the basis of the title for this text, as in Meahuasca.
We were invited to participate in various activities, with a view to breaking down to a certain extent, any resistance our conscious or egoic mind may be putting up in front of us and to a further extent putting us at our ease … after all it is not every day you get to experience what is sometimes called the “little death”. Ayahuasca is also known as the “Vine of the Dead”.
We were actively invited throughout the preparation day, to listen, discuss, ask questions, share why we were there, dance, to chant, meditate and to breathe. By the end of the day, we had all built a trust with the facilitator and guides that they would take care of us. This was a safe, non-judgmental environment, and moreover, we could surrender to the Medicine.
If we had to vomit, we could vomit and they would tend to us and clean up the mess. If we had to shit or piss they would escort us to the toilet or, if needs be, bring us to the shower to clean ourselves. We could comfortably scream, shout, laugh, cry, sob, sing or just be silent when we needed to and trusted that we were supported without judgment no matter what, within reason of course!
We participated in a series of activities devised to open us up and to become more comfortable in our own skins and in each other’s company. In the morning, we were invited to share with others who we were, and what our intentions (or not) might be for our Voyage with Mother Ayahuasca.
In the afternoon we danced, learned to walk and breathe (again), look one another in the eye and how to be silent. In the evening we were invited to participate in Meditation, Vibration and Breathing exercises, whilst being enwrapped in some marvelous music.
The Meditation and Breathing exercises (with the music) were particularly beguiling for me. Without realising it at the time, these exercises provided me with what can only be described as being a Mini Voyage of sorts, without the use of entheogens.
In retrospect and as a POINT OF NOTE: Once you have reached the Zeropoint, strictly speaking you do not need to use entheogens again, although it must be said, a great many People do not immediately reach the Stillness of the Zero Point with a first, or initial experience or voyage, with Mother Ayahuasca.
For many, although they may get an experience of sorts, it may take more than one voyage with Mother Ayahuasca to reach that certain Stillness of the Zero Point. What most People may experience, prior to reaching their Stillness are certain types of emotional blockages and/or their egoic mind resisting surrendering to the Medicine. Emotional blockages can come in various shapes, sizes or types of trauma and Mother Ayahuasca may need to guide and assist you in working through these blockages and/or traumas. This, in essence, is where the magic or healing begins … more on this later.
The next day arrived, the day of the ceremony, the day we imbibed the Medicine Plant Ayahuasca. We were all generally dressed in white clothes, and mine were generally grey. It is almost impossible to find entirely white second hand clothes in charity shops, or in the cheaper high street chains, so light grey was the nearest equivalent available to me, but this did not really matter, because once you have taken your Medicine, you do not care what colour clothes you have on, or are taking off.
Most People, including me, still had a certain level of trepidation or nervous excitement about this day, despite all the previous days’ activities. In my case, it was simply because it was my very first Voyage with Mother Ayahuasca, and like anything absolutely new, one did not know how one was going to react or respond. If there was any concern on my part, perhaps unlike most People, it certainly was not about vomiting or shitting myself, but more about what emotional responses would arise (if any), or memories it might awaken in me.
We entered the ceremony room without talking, and took our places on our mattresses. The ceremonial leader gave us some practicals and more reassurances about being in a safe place, that we could trust her and the guides to take good care of us and our needs for the day. We could surrender to the Medicine without any concerns for anything else whatsoever, and go on our own personal inner voyages without a worry in the world.
Then the ceremonial leader invited us all to share our intention for this voyage. The group was relatively small in number (about 20 or so), so we all individually shared our personal intentions with the group. My personal intention was to find out (more) about death - was there death or not? Was there existence after the body died, and so on? Relative to other Peoples’ intentions, which we will not get into here, this was not so strange a thing to want to find out, well not for me anyhow. But as many People who have imbibed Ayahuasca are prone to saying; “Mother Ayahuasca gives you what you NEED, not what you want”, as did the Rolling Stones in another way. See … everything is connected!
On the flip side of that same coin, what would you do with getting what you want? Could you handle it and would what you wanted still be what you want, once you get what you want? Perhaps wanting what you need is a better approach to setting an intention, rather than wanting what you want? Or perhaps not wanting anything is an even better approach to setting an intention? Or even, not setting an intention is an even better approach? Something else to ponder!
We commenced the ceremony by being handed our first Cup of Ayahuasca, which we held until the ceremony leader said her bit, blessings and all. Then she invited us to drink the Medicine in our own time and so we did. The smell was not good, and the taste was none too good either, but down it went all the same. It tasted a little bitter to me, but you could hear the sounds around the room of People smelling, tasting and swallowing. You could tell, even at this very early stage, that some People were already ready to purge or expel the Ayahuasca from their systems, one way or another, through one orifice or another.
For some People, being in the company of someone that is sick or purging is enough to set them off … it’s a bit like yawning,. Once someone starts, it becomes highly contagious and those around the initial yawner also find themselves yawning pretty soon after. There were some immediate purges, there were some early purges, there were some intermediate purges, there were some later purges and no doubt there were enough cases of People having to use the toilet and/or the showers.
As my blindfold was on almost immediately after the first glass of Ayahuasca, my sense of hearing was picking up on the sounds emanating from the room so there was no way of telling who had to go to the toilet or showers, not that any of this really mattered.
Once we all had imbibed the first glass of Ayahuasca, the ceremony leader M commenced with playing music, gently talking and taking us through a Chakra meditation, whilst we were all sitting in an upright position, or as they say in yoga, the lotus position.
M invited us to lay back or lie down whenever and at whatever stage we wished to. We did not have to stay sitting or in the lotus position, but to do as we felt our bodies needed. For me, ten minutes (at most) into the Chakra meditation was enough. Yoga is not my thing so my body has had no practice in staying in an unsupported upright position.
The music and the Ayahuasca took over and had me laid out flat on my back, and cosseted in blankets. It is not that my voyage had necessarily started as such, but my body just needed to be in a more comfortable, cosy position. Perhaps my body just needed to rest, relax and unwind and that it did. Once the Chakra meditation was completed, the ceremony leader announced that the guides were going to approach each of us to ask if we wished to take another glass of Ayahuasca.
By this stage, an hour had more or less passed and my body was already feeling what can only be described as being deep intermittent vibrations. These vibrations were internal, but it also felt like the internal vibrations were also vibrating into the space/room we were in. It was intermittent, like a wave, like a roller coaster, like a washing machine! It came in waves and it came in cycles. There was an intermittent hum, sound, noise also, that gave you a certain advanced warning of the oncoming wave of vibration. This was marvellous, this was terrific, and this was somehow strangely familiar. Mother Ayahuasca (MA) had not yet taken me completely. This vibration was her warming up her engine or warning me, depending on how you look at it. MA was teasing me, testing me and daring me to take another glass of her medicine …
Finally! The guide arrived by my side, and as my blindfold was on, she gently touched my shoulder and whispered into my ear … “would you care for another glass of Ayahuasca?” The guide barely got the question out of her mouth, when my answer was an empathic “Yes Please!” … and then she was gone. It felt like an eternity before she returned, and gently touched my shoulder and whispered … “here you go”.
Of course, you cannot drink this stuff lying down, as you have to brace yourself and time the matter, to avoid choking and gagging on its taste and in turn spewing your guts up. The guide waited patiently for me to sit up, take my blindfold off, look around the room, and then handed over the glass of Ayahuasca. She again waited patiently with me until the glass was empty, although it was me who asked her to wait. Then my guide took the glass and wished me well on my voyage, with a cheeky little smile.
At this stage in the ceremony, just after my second glass, there was no need in me to vomit, purge or to go to the toilet. Everything down below was calm, cool and collected, as they say. It felt like the medicine was now coursing through my veins and my blood, that my whole body was getting ready for liftoff so to speak, and Mother Ayahuasca didn’t disappoint me one little bit. My surrender to the medicine was totally unreserved and all consuming, if such a thing is possible! Even at that particular moment as we lifted off, there was something informing me that this medicine was needed and an absolute necessity to my continued existence on this plain and the work ahead of me, whatever that may be.
This medicine would not be leaving me any time soon. Its intention was to stay in and with me, to heal me, to guide me, to inform and infuse me with clarity on certain matters, and to dispel my many illusions and confusions. To shake me, to wake me, to stir and rouse my traumas, fears, pains, stresses and suffering and show me the door that could provide access to bliss, well every now and then, and when it was most needed and not just when wanted. Not so bad for just two or so hours into a voyage … and it was to get even stranger!
During this first phase of my first voyage, there were also a myriad of visual effects, colours and archetypes, but one predominant message (feeling), that came through can be summarised as follows: Write, to process, get clarity and integrate revelations better, and thus be better able to relay and relate to others in a more effective way or manner.
In penning this text … it concerns me that it might be my egoic mind expressing itself and not an expression of the higher self or being. Nonetheless, it still feels like the right thing to do, as a valid attempt to explain, in the simplest of terms possible, what occurs beyond this dimension of reality when you voyage with Mother Ayahuasca. So on we go …
In this first phase of the voyage, Mother Ayahuasca brought and showed me into a Temple (of sorts) and revealed certain internal aspects of this Temple, and in particular, to focus my attention on its domed-vaulted ceiling and its pattern. Whomsoever designed and created this particular ceiling was obviously very talented and skilled in numerous and various aspects of art, science, mathematics, architecture and spirituality. The ceiling of this Temple was stunningly beautiful, intricate and complex, all in one. The most predominant colour, that stood out to me was BLUE.
At this juncture, deep into my BLUE ceiling experience, the ceremony leader very gently announced, “If anyone would like a third glass of Ayahuasca, could they raise a hand now?”
Without being cognisant of it, my hand raised itself high into the air as if attempting to reach up and touch the BLUE ceiling laid out before me …
My arm swayed in the air, til my guide came over, not to bring me the Ayahuasca, but to confirm that my hand was up to receive Ayahuasca. She held my hand, and whispered to ask if this was the case. Then promptly left, but only for a very brief moment this time, arrived back, held my hand, got me to sit up, take off my blindfold, and gently handed me the Ayahuasca. My guide stayed sitting beside me and waited until my time to drink was right. This third glass, although perhaps a little more difficult to swallow than the first and second, went down (a treat) and stayed with me.
If Mother Ayahuasca was unclear before about my initial intention, by this third glass of Ayahuasca, both of us were now very clear. Almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, Mother Ayahuasca vibrated my every being back to the BLUE Temple and revealed herself to me as a BLUE woman. She had somehow hidden herself in the ceiling, where she had been watching over me all the time.
This revelation stirred a very deep sadness in me. Then stuff just began to click with me. My intention to find out about death was not relevant to me (at present), the deeper concern was my buried sadness and sorrow. Then memories of being a baby and being abandoned by my birth mother at birth began to creep in. These were memories of feelings of me as a baby. Who would have thought it possible that one could remember such things? Mother Ayahuasca quelled my sadness, as she reassured me, she had not ever abandoned me, and she had been watching over me ALL the time.
That was emotional enough, but she didn’t allow me to express any tears of sadness or joy, as there was more to come on this voyage. She wasn’t finished yet …
She took me in her arms, lifted me up to her ceiling, cuddled me and then gently let go of me. This wasn’t like a drop; it was more like a slide or slow descent through, what can only be described as being a universal birth canal, and then finally out the other end into this domain. This was in essence my rebirth with the added benefit of knowing Mother Ayahuasca was watching over me all the time, always would and always will. She also imparted that she would welcome me back any time it was needed, which of course is good to know.
This revelation broke me up entirely, and my body curled up into a fetal position and began to sob and cry with relief and happiness. In this fetal position, Mother Ayahuasca softly touched my cheek, and continued to look over me, as my body went into a relaxed slumber.
My first voyage was a detailed examination of the moments of my birth into this world, and the literal circumstances that surrounded it, in that my hurt about my perceived abandonment as a baby. It had left a very deep trauma that was hidden from me and possibly protected me to a certain extent in my childhood, young adulthood and as an older adult in this life. To expose it and face it was exhilarating, a real buzz as they say. Whilst present in those moments and reliving feelings of abandonment, there was also a part of me, a higher consciousness that was objectively seeing it for what it was … just a story or film reel about a baby who was abandoned, lost and disconnected, and had now reconnected with the source that is Mother Earth. In fact that connection had not ever been broken, it had just been buried, suppressed or hidden, and was now rediscovered. It was a very happy ending to an initially, sad tale.
After some time my feeling, senses and hearing informed me there was a lot of physical movement in the room and it was time to begin my final return to being present in the room. My sense of smell picked up food. There was food in the room, so with that, my blindfold came off and I was sitting upright just in time for a guide to come and present me with a massive bowl of fruits. Obviously the whole bowl and all the fruits were not for me, we all had to share, but there were other bowls, enough fruit for everyone.
As we consumed the fruits, women and men were standing now and dancing, moving and swaying to the music. This dancing and movement was a most beautiful thing to observe. It wasn’t sexual … it was more a sensual thing. Seeing natural and uninhibited dance is a complete joy of life, or is for me. The movements were absolutely sublime, and every dancer seemed supple and in perfect tune with themselves, each other and the music.
Most People by now were out of their Voyages, although there were still one or two that persisted and continued on into the night. Some People had come out after just a few hours, and some People stayed in up to 12 hours. It obviously varied depending on what was needed for the individual. My own first voyage took approximately 6 hours but other voyages since then have lasted from 6 to 8 and up to 10, hours.
Sometime after the fruits were consumed, the ceremony leader closed the ceremony, and each of us shared some stuff about our personal voyages. Sharing is an intriguing process. Whatever about the details of what each one of us went through on our personal voyages, the sharing changed the space between us all and also facilitated a more trusting environment.
The sharing part for me is still a little fuzzy, although it was also a very enjoyable part of the ceremony, it does not require much elaboration, as it would not feel right to say what other People revealed on their personal voyages.
To write about all details of these first 6 hours of my first voyage would require a book in its own right. The key elements and my personal revelations of this voyage and others to follow, may be of some assistance to you to read, ponder or consider, in that there may be themes, symbols and or archetypes etc., you can consider and perhaps pre-study prior to imbibing a Medicine Plant. This will assist or guide you, reduce confusion and/or help you integrate your own experience should that day arrive.
END EXTRACT.
That first adventure with Mother Ayahuasca via the Sacred Voyage group took place in September 2017, and became an inspiration for the site and the book called Mèahuasca. You may join our contact list and download your own free pdf of that book >HERE<
To close out this article … my most recent adventure to the Netherlands and the realm of Medicine Plants was another pilgrimage or voyage, deep into the heart of me, accompanied this time by two good pals, both of which had their own very deep and profound experiences (or so they tell me). It was of course great to voyage with my pals, and my personal experience was all the more profound because of theirs, and the work by the founders, facilitators and guides of the Sacred Voyage group. We also had loads of fun, craic, laughter and stories, and in the end, great food with a great celebration.
Upon my return and upon mature reflection and as a final comment; there are a couple things about “Civilised Western Culture” that persistently irk me, as follows:
* Firstly; there is no remaining “Rights of Passage” ceremonies or processes within civilised western culture, other than what organised religion or the state have set out. Church and State have hijacked, ruined and criminalised all cultural rights of passages which had previously informed and educated our ancestors about life, death and other stuff.
* Secondly; this has ultimately led to a massive resurgence in People fearing death, and thus culminating in the State/Church being able to manipulate and control more and more of the population as time has proceeded. Thus in 2020 … Most People in this civilised western culture are complying with state dictates without question, without logic, reason or any critical consideration.
It has taken about three days to integrate fully back into this realm of reality, which is not an easy thing to do, when faced with a population of People wearing masks, who accept their own behaviour as “the new normal”. FFS this is NOT NORMAL!!! … this is a mass hysteria, and accepting it as any normal, just because you heard it on telly, is tantamount to psychosis. Then again, you don’t want to be persecuted by the state, because you could’t afford a mask, do you? Or are you wearing a mask, just because everyone around you is complying?
Perhaps this is not the nicest way to end an article, but writing is a cathartic process, and if you are afraid to write as a form of expression, you may as well don another mask to hide behind.
Thanks for reading etc.,
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Mèahuasca (the book) expands upon the experiences of the writer/creator, and provides a breakdown of and for the preparation of travelling, voyaging and or journeying to the centre of U. It contains detailed accounts of real experience(s) and adventures. It is also a practical guide on how to prepare for travel, voyaging or journeying, and can be used as a personal journal for your own private use.
The book Mèahuasca is available >HERE<